Taking a Look Back at a Year of Running

2011 yielded quite a few successes and failures for my running. I'll be honest, the proudest thing I've done this year occured last Spring when I broke 11 minutes in the 3200 meters. But that definitely wasn't the only high point. Running sub-18 in Cross Country felt liberating... as if the entire summer of dreary treadmill tempo runs had materialized into something wonderful. But XC was host to the most frustrating decline I've ever experienced. Shortly after running a 17:51, I started struggling to break 18:30. My training go thrown off by an ineffective training program that focused too much on short fast workouts and not enough on endurance, the foundation of the sport. I felt my dreams and aspirations of running in the State cross country meet slipping away... and then they did. The single most dissapointing moment in my life occurred when I failed to make the mediocre cut to qualify for State. I remeber laying face down in the grass near the finish line absolutely crushed. I  had let my dream slip away... I didn't want to get back up. I remember thinking something very disturbing: "Why even try? I put in a full summer of running and this is my payoff?"
I was falling in a bad way. I felt like I had lost my identity. As much as I would love to completely blame my coach for training me idiotically, that seems a little too easy. At the end of the day, I've got nobody to blame but myself. For days after this failure, I became very depressed. I sat around and did nothing but listen to sad music and eat lots of snickerdoodle cookies.
Somewhere in the middle of all this self-loathing, I found some kind of an enlightenment that changed my entire philosophy of running. Running isn't about winning, or even meeting personal goals and expectations. It's about having fun. It took me 3 years to realize why I run: It's fun. I felt like I needed to run... and I did. And I didn't stop for another 13 miles.
I firmly believe that all things happen for a reason. The rise and fall of my performances created in me a new outlook on running. It's about getting in touch with something deep inside all of us that is very primal. Going into 2012, I feel better about running that ever... as if I was born to run. Maybe this will be the year I have a performance breakthrough, or maybe not. But at least I know I will have fun hiting the roads, the treadmill, and the track for another year!

Making the Step up to 10ks

So tomorrow will mark the longest race I have attempted to date: the 10,000 meters, 10k, 6.2 mile run. I'm just so tired of the 5K; I always cruise the first mile, push the second mile, and inevitable crash the third mile. Cross Country solidified the monotony of this race, and the unfortunate failure of my season provoked even more frustration with the old 3.1 mile sprint.  So tomorrow should be interesting. I know there is a lot of road between me an the finish line, so I'm hoping to go out no faster than 6:30 pace. I really don't want to crash in this race, and since whatever I do will be an instant PR, the stakes are very low, which feels good. I run best when I feel the least pressure. I look forward to toeing the line tomorrow for the first time in a while... I've been away from racing too long.

Thanksgiving Running Part 2: Treadmill Tempo run

Shortly after writing part 1 an epic storm blew in, dumping inches of rain and producing dangerously gusty winds. Therefore, the choice was clear: a treadmill tempo run was in my near future. Now I am not as soft as this quick decision might make me out to be; I have ran in far worse outdoor conditions this past week, and frankly, I am sick of it. Pooring rain has flogged several of my recent runs, leaving my clothes heavy, my spirit  tired, and my thoughts focused on just waiting to be somewhere dry for the duration of my run. This feeling interferes with the positive feelings running usually gives me, so the weather has been getting on my nerves.
So I made my way down to the gym, about a 10 minute drive, hoping that the zero drag, zero weather, 68 degree interior would eliminate the challenges of running outside. While it did, I found myself just focusing on the time that was past, and how much longer I wanted to go. I ended up holding 6:35 pace for 3 miles, which is not all that good, but it's the fastest I've ran for a while. I did a nice cool down consisting of 1 easy mile (7:30) and 10 minutes on a fancy stationary bike (gotta love the gym). It certainly wasn't a bad run, but it was far from the type of run I would classify as good. In other words, the effort felt true to what it was: a rather brisk run. To me, a  good run occurs when the percieved effort feels far less difficult than the actual effort, and a bad run occurs when the actual effort feels far greater than the percieved effort. So this was a middle of the road, average run, at least by definition. I left in good spirits (afterall it's Thanksgiving!) Tomorrow I have a long run planned but it's now been 7 days since my last day of, so I'll decide based on how I feel tomorrow. The weather is also supposed to be making a turn for the better which is exciting. The clouds and the rain have been making the mood of my running downright ugly.
Overall, it was a good Thanksgiving Day run. I am thankful that God gave me the legs, the passion, and the bliss to run. I plan on regrouping tomorrow and finding that place inside where I can say that I am falling in a good way.

Thanksgiving Running Part 1

Well it is once again that time of year when people make their way out of bed and over to the local Turkey Trot (usually a 5K, maybe with a 10K). This is excuse enough to stuff their faces with even more gratuituously unhealthy, butter and shortening ridden food that almost certainly accumulates mass amounts of plaque in the arteries. But that's okay, Thanksgiving is an American institution, and it would be foul of me to diss on it anymore.
No, the real subject of this post is running on Thanksgiving. This year I chose to break tradition and not race today. Why? you might ask. Thanksgiving is an all around perfect day to race, is it not? Well, it ususally is, but this year it wasn't. Coming off a dissapointing Cross Country season (of which I will speak no more of) I am flat out just tired of racing. I mean, a month ago, I was still having multi-week races, which are hard on the body, mind, and spirit. Running to me isn't about stress. A week ago I sat down and told myself I would not stress about this ritualistic race. So I decided not to take part in a sanctioned event. But today, I will either be going on a 4 mile easy run or a treadmill tempo run. I will decide later in the day.